How to Choose the Right Partner for Life: 7 Simple Steps

“Humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay” or “Find a homely  and love him/her sincerely?” One of the Filipino songs in the 90”s that changed the perspectives of millions in terms of loving others. It tells the lover that it is not outside that matters most but deep within the person. Though in part it is a right but something is better.

God intends for an individual to have a life-time partner. It all started in the garden of Eden when He gave Adan a partner named Eve. It wasn”t sufficient for a man to be alone that he must have someone to live with.

Life is worth living for with a partner for life. It”s not good to be alone in facing the struggles and turmoils of life. “Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor” Eccleciastes 4:9

Let”s look at the Seven Steps in How to Find Your Right Partner for Life.


1. Pray to God


Who is the greatest Match-Maker? There”s no way a true Christian can find his/her right partner without adding God into the equation. God is the giver of all things, that includes your future mate.


Ask God to give you the right person and as you serve Him you will meet him/her. Seek His will wholeheartedly so that you can have the patience that He will provide what you ask in due time.


2. Find Someone whom you have the same faith


“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14.


A verse that Christians usually break because they neglected the First Step. It is a biblical principle in the Bible that must be obeyed. This is a command that Paul writes. It must be followed to have an effective search for your life-time partner.


Open yourself to fellow Christians who are single. Involve yourself in church programs and attend other Christian activities like seminars, prayer meetings, conventions and the like. By going to these activities, you let others know you and you allow yourself to know others.


3. Find someone whom you are attracted to


“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. In all the single Christians that you”ve met in attending those activities, were you attracted to someone? It”s unthinkable to find your potential partner without being attracted to him/her. Thus, you have these Christians whom you are attracted to. Again, let”s negate those of different faiths in this conversation. When I say “attracted to”, I am saying only those believers. Find someone who has enough “appeal” to you. This is not about the outside look but more of the personality of that person.


4. Set standards


There”s nothing wrong in setting standards. It”s the measuring stick of your prayer to God. When you pray to God, be specific of what you want. What do you like that your potential partner possesses? Examples below:

Matured Christian / Mature na Kristiyano
Handsome “Guwapo” / Beautiful “Maganda”
Tall / Matangkad / or Five footer
Working “Nagtatrabaho” / Kahit walang trabaho
 Is he/she with the same age with me?
Christian parents / Kahit hindi ba?

You can set more than what is written above. Always remember you are like in a hiring mode with heart and mind open for your potential life-time partner.


5. Look for the person with the same interests as you


It would be impossible to keep a relationship long without the two persons having the same interests. Find a person who shares common interests with you. If you followed the first four steps, the Lord’s ministry can be the common interest. If you don”t share common interests, one will have to sacrifice his/her own just to satisfy his/her partner in the future. It would be very difficult to take that sacrifice.


6. Got to involve intellectual capacity


This may not sound perfect in your eyes. Yes, you must have the same intellectual capacity with your potential partner so that there will be life in your conversations. It can be boring if his/her thoughts are a lot deeper while the other has lower understanding of the matters. He/She must be able to grasp the essence of your conversations.


7. Spend time with your potential partner


I must be careful in dealing about this matter for I have conservative views. I would prefer to use “spend time” in the sphere of friendship only and not dating. Get to know your future life-time partner through friendship by visiting her at their house with her parents around. Spend time with him/her in a group.


Note: It is the best way for a Christian to find his/her right partner when he/she already finished her college degree. It is still the best way to maintain a holy life by living out Psalms 37:4 which says “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart”.